viNtage-couTuRe

2005-06-02T21:40:00.000+08:00

yes..almost d end of d wk. finally d wkends r here...tml. i've met all of my tutors except for my om tutor. meeting him tml. hope he is nice. so far all our tutors r okie. haha. which is gd..so we will nt haf a hard time during dis sem.

at first tot, i tot our ief was gg to b really fierce coz we were late for her first tutorial. gee..it's my fault. i was late and d gurls ended up waiting for me. felt so guilty after dat. d tutor looked lyk a guy so much..her hair, dressing style and so on and so forth. haha. so mean ritex..criticise d tutor. but after dat she was fine..lyk luffing thruout d tutorial. guess she's alright afterall. den our mkting tutor was a real bored. wad can u except for a 50+ man. but i rather he is lyk dis den strict. or else sch is gg to b lyk hell. i dun wan my tutors to b lyk my previous sem de bmgt tutor. anyhow dat tutor sux alot. damn bossy and stuff. argh..dun tok abt d past le.

todae's jap lesson was pretty interesting too. learnt quite a number of stuff. but we haf a writing test nxt wk. argh! nid to noe how to rite a letter to d tutor. sianx! dis wk sure busy one. nid to memorise certain stuff. hope i can fare well for it! my only hope dis sem.

zzz..so freaking hot now. d weather has been really humid dis few daes..so hot, even after bathing i sweat. den my air-con dun seem to b as cold as b4. tink it's gg to 'burst' one dae. wah...cannot tahan without my air-con. it's a necessity to me now!

2005-05-30T20:31:00.000+08:00

gee..i haven blog for so long. when was d last time i blog...21st april? dat's lyk more den a mth ago. omg! been playing games since sch end last sem..so din really blog. quite alot of tings happened but i juz dun haf d 'inspiration' to rite 'em down. guess everyone's feeling d same coz most of my clsmates either close their sites or leave it hanging thr..untouched. wad a weird feeling ritex..we were so enthu dat time when we first started out..everyone was toking abt d blogskins and d stuffs dat we wrote blah blah blah.

anyhow sch has alr started and yes, i'm a yr 2 student now. gee..time really flies. i was still a freshie abt a yr ago and now..i'm a senior. haha. d modules in dis sem aint dat interesting except for marketing mayb. mayb i'm wrong. wad i noe is OM is d same as BMGT & OB. dat sux big time. first lect was alr a headache..n we zao halfwae thru. hehe. so bad ritex..1st lect den went off halfwae alr. wonder wad will happen thruout d whole sem. cant blame us though..d lect's really boring. i also fell aslp inside..and u noe me, no matter how tired i am i wont slp in lect one. but dat time was really terrible..i could close my eyes n juz slp thr. so u can juz imagine how BORING d lect was. to make tings worse d lecturer was damn loh soh..so long-winded. one slide he tok for 5-10 mins. as wad he said..ELABORATE. *rolls eyes* dat's so ridiculous..wonder how he manage to sae so much frm only a few sentences in d slide. damn..tink he 'trained' himself for dat ar.

den thr's our AAA lecturer hu happens to b our tutor AND our advisor. how pathetic is dat. my first impression of her is she is strict. she made everyone shut up during her lect. haha. hopefully she is lyk mrs ng..strict in lect but nice during tutorial. guess d truth will reveal itself tml whr i will attend her tutorial cls. *prays hard* hopefully everyting turns out right. hehe.

but d worst of d worst is our IEF lecturer. she sux big time..i mean really sux. she is damn sarcastic and..i really duno wad to sae abt her. tink my ief common test is bound to fail for sure. 100% + guarantee + chop. u could juz imagine how horrifying she is. absolutely horrendous. d qns dat she told us dat came out during previous exam..i was totally stunned. i dun even understand wad she was saying. tink i'm gg to stare into space when i get d paper. now i finally understand y she said only 10% of d cohort pass their common test paper. my first meeting wif her was alr terrifying enuff. she made it sound as if it's abosolutely impossible for us to pass..okie, maybe nt impossible. but really really difficult to pass. coz we nid to read d 'txtbk' in order to do d paper. y i put d commas for d word...coz dat bk aint exactly a txtbk. it's more lyk a reference bk to me. i was so bored after reading 1 pg of d bk..i repeat juz ONE pg of d bk. and i'm suppose to read up to chp 5 now. damn it! how on earth am i gg to do dat. i juz hope dat i can get a D grade for dis module and i'm b thanking god. she said she lurve giving surprises. her surprises are setting qns dat we haf nv seen b4 or she nv taught us. so she expects us to read up on our own, b attentive during lect blah blah blah.

dis is d beginning of my nightmare. wad more wif programs coming up. zzz..i hate it! when am i gg to b free frm dis? *sigh*

2005-04-21T14:34:00.000+08:00

i used to condemn guys saying dey're dumb and stuff...i'm starting to wonder whether i'm d dumb one. i'm such a bitch. so stupid so dumb. i hate myself. I HATE MYSELF!!! tink i'm better off being a lesbian ar...can understand gurls better.

2005-04-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

Each Truth Is Just A Scrim Across The Darkness

We cannot see what most we'd like to know.
We drive among sheer cliffs in pale moonlight
Unsure of where we are or where to go.

When we allow our heads to make our choices,
We lose because of what we cannot see.
When we give way and let desire take us,
We lose because we want what cannot be.

We inch along the dream-lit rocky ridges
Knowing always, always we must lose.
The end for all is darkness everlasting,
And so it matters less which road we choose.

What matters is the beauty of sheer being;
The gifts we have and those we will become;
The ecstasy of loving so completely
That we ourselves are more than minds can plumb.

Love well and know that love must end in pain.
Be a fool and pay the unmarked price.
Be generous of self, and passion gain:
One who never loses, loses twice.

2005-04-14T15:01:00.000+08:00

finally..a new blogskin. haha. and a new song too. tink jas has put it in her blog b4 but nvm..i lyk dis song alot too. tink u guys hear d natalie - going crazy until sianx le. haha.

anywae i haf nth to blog nowadaes...suddenly no inspiration. haf alot of tings in mind but dun feel lyk putting it down. haix. guess i'm back to my usual self again..keeping everyting to myself which isnt such a bad idea at times.

oh yar..in my previous blog i said sth abt a gurls pix ritex. i showed it to esther n wendy le. esther said she saw d pix frm a forum b4...heck larx. nt exactly my problem.

okies. i'll stop here for d time being. ciao!~

P.S: me change d song le. tink dis song - Xtina [I turn to you] is more appropriate for me bah.

2005-04-07T00:02:00.000+08:00

grrr...so fed up now. cant play rose now. keep lagging and lagging. took so long to load dis page too. wth. den d toolbar din appear. stupid one!

anywae i haven blog for a while le ritex. haha. been playing rose d past few daes..keke..chiong until siao but lvl still low. =[ anywae i finally met S online. haha. ytd and d dae b4. so long nv see him le. tot he avoiding me coz i everytime disturb him one. haha. but he beri nice one. hehe.

heard frm him ytd dat he might b posted to USA for 2 yrs leh. 2 yrs lorx. if he's gone den i haf no one to turn to when i haf problem le. haix. nvm larx..cannot always rely on ppl one mus b more independent.

oh yar..nxt time i will attached a pix of a gurl. u guys help me judge. see whether she looks lyk a singaporean/jap. haha..d person sae she has taiwanese blood in her. duno larx. i will attached it nxt time coz now my toolbar aint working.

okie larx..stop here le. such a short blog. hehe. but also gt nth to sae so...ciao!~

2005-04-01T19:20:00.000+08:00

haPPie aPRiL foOL's dAe!!!!~

lolx. nth much happen todae. act i slp at 2+ dis morning. keke. so late horx. coz playing rose mah..den afterdat check out some blogskins. cant slp larx.

juz now...dis morning i mean...nonono..dis afternoon, haha..blur me...he pm me in game. was kinda surprise. tot he decided to leave me alone le. okie larx..den i spoke to him. he was quite happie dat i aint avoiding him le. coz ytd i told him dis, "dun make empty promises dat u noe u cant keep". guess everyting is okie bah..almost. except dat i dun feel d same wae towards him le. juz...i duno...i really haf no idea how i feel or wan now. we'll see how it goes lorx.

oh ya..b4 i left juz now he asked me sth. he asked me abt last nitex. he suspects dat thr's sth gg on between me and S. cant let him noe dat i'm gg close to S ritex. S is sorta lyk my spy. haix. nt sure larx. but i noe he consults S for his prob too. S told me de. dat's y i gt to noe some stuffs. stuffs dat he would nv sae to me. and dat's how i found out abt his mysterious frenz too. if S hadnt promise me dat he would tell me, i probably still b a dumbo. kept in d dark.

and S...wad to sae abt S. S can relate to me, understands me, make me luff and cry. ha. he seems to haf such an effect on me. no matter how angry i am i'll feel better after toking to him. it's lyk all my anger has vanished. but i noe dat nth's gona happen between us coz he probably treats me lyk a young, naive gurl - someone hu pours her woes to. but i cant trust him 100%. i'm nt sure whether S leak anyting to HIM. coz S tells me wad HE told him sometimes..so..i'm nt sure whether S told HIM anyting nt.

okie larx...enuff abt them for a moment. tink i'm gg to change my blogskin often. lyk 2 a mth? nt too sure. i found quite a number of skins alr. so shud haf np if i decide to change d skin often.

2005-03-31T14:18:00.000+08:00

wOot!!!~ finally complete my exams. hehe. so happie..words cant even describe how i feel ritex now. it's lyk i haf no burden now..no more fretting about examx for d time being.

as promise, i said dat i will change d blogskin ritex..keke..wad do u guys tink of dis? haha..me bitch. keke. juz tot dat dis layout looks kinda cool.

anywae alot of tings had happen dis few daes and i only learnt d truth frm him ytd. act S promised me dat he would tell me ytd..in d end, he asked me to ask frm HIM myself. i was tinking dat if i nv bother to ask him..he probably aint gona tell me abt d mysterious frenz. ha..wonder whether dis is d so-call EXCITING news he was gg to tell me. u haf no idea how EXCITING it was? *rolls eyes* guys r juz a bunch of jerks. i'm starting to agree wif pink [refer to tb04 gurls blog]..starting to detest guys more and more. jerkx. bastards. asshole.

he tink dat juz a simple sorrie and everyting can and will b forgotten. and we'll juz go back to d wae we used to b. ha. he's so damn naive. wad wif all those promises dat he wont hurt me again...juz a bunch of lies. i hate it when ppl lie to me. i hate it even more when ppl make empty promises dat dey noe dey cant keep.

he still said dat he really hope to noe me better...how on earth is he gg to do dat when we no longer tok. and he expect me to forgive him. he wasnt even sincere abt dat..he had to get S to pass d msg to me. duno wth he tinking. dumb. juz plain dumb. he says he nids time..lyk i dun. i wasnt even rushing him into a relationship...blurdy hell [pardon me for my use of language]. he said alot of bullshit ytd. turned out he had been asking S for help too, consulting him.

frm wad i heard frm S, he's confused ritex now. haix..i really duno wad to do. S tot dat i'll b upset or mad at HIM..but i assured him dat i was okie. in fact, i dun feel anyting when HE told me d truth..i was totally numb...no feeling at all. weird ar. mayb coz i was feeling really tired ytd..and my mind is juz block. after S left..i started tinking and tinking...and ended crying. diaox. lyk again ritex. i hate myself..i told S dat i was okie...and i end up crying.

HE probably doesnt noe dat i've shed alot of tears for me. he probably doesnt care either. i admitted dat i was kinda bad towards him b4..lyk getting angry wif him over small matters. but i did dat becoz i wanted his attention..i realised dat i was so dumb. dis aint gona get him to notice me..he probably tinks i'm a petty gurl. after dat incident dat dae, i decided to treat him nicer..but den dis haf to happen.

i really duno wad to do now. really confused. i doubt tings r gg to b d same again. guess i'm fated to b single..haha..it's nt dat bad though. as long as i haf my frenz wif me..besides i kinda enjoy d carefree life i haf now. no obligations and stuff. juz b me.

2005-03-26T20:13:00.000+08:00

Natalie - Going Crazy

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same ohh baby, nooo
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
Cuz the feeling that I feel within
No other man would ever make me feel so right
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

[Bridge]
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady I
've been thinking lately T
hat you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
And you love me I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you crazy for you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true and no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)

[Bridge]
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy I
need to be your lady I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Ohhh, ohhh....
Crazy... lady..... lately....
Ohhh ohhh.....
Ohh ohhh ohhhhhh
Baby...
Ohhh Ohhh Ohhhhhh....

P.S Thx jas for ur link. finally found dis song. i juz lyk dis song and nth else okie..dun let ur imagination run wild. hehe.!!!~

2005-03-22T23:14:00.000+08:00

Ooooooooooooooo
Everybodys got something they've had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use lookin back or wonderin
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Chorus:I never had a dream come true
Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time
And tomorrow could never be
Cause yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

Chorus

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will say you will you know you will oh baby
You'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use lookin back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try
I just can't say goodbye
No No No No

2005-03-21T15:22:00.000+08:00

haven blog for a while. so many tings haf happened. dun wish to tok abt it anymore. anywae i'm gg on a semi-hiatus. coming back after 30th march wif a new blogskin. ciao!!!~

2005-03-14T11:48:00.000+08:00

haix. bored stiff. juz went over to tb04girls blog and realise dat alot of tings had been happening. d gurlx seem to haf alot of comment abt guys, esp red. act dun really noe how to react to dat. sometimes guyx r really sick in d head, but dey can b so sweeet dat times too. making me all confused. but still i wont deny d fact dat dey can b really dumb at times. hurting us without realising it.

all these is making me tink of him. i hope he aint lyk dat. but sometimes he really anger me. but i realise dat i cant do without him now [erm. nt dat serious larx] after reading wendy's blog, it suddenly came to me i'm afraid of losing him. sometimes i wonder wad i'm gg to do if he leaves one dae...and end up wif some other gurl. i'm afraid of dat. will i crumble if i learn dat he is wif some other gurl or will i juz pretend dat nth happen and carry on wif my life? hope i'll b strong enuff to handle dat shud it happen.

nt dat i condemn guys but dey dun seem to gif a damn abt our feelings. dey r able to forget tings to quickly unlyk us. haix. is dat how guys and gurls r different? in our waes of tinking and our feelings?

2005-03-13T20:59:00.000+08:00

i noe i haven blog for so long. hehe. been busy lately..wif all d projectx and stuff. i'm gg to gif u an update of wad's been happening d past few daes.

thursdae, 10th march 2005
went to sch early for poa lect, but in d end, we din go. haha. we juz stood outside d lect theatre coz we were alr late. lyk super late. somemore d lecturer is d female one..quite fierce de. den we split into 2 grps, some of us went to d library while d rest went to eat. my grp did some rehearse for our cats project. we end up luffing alot. lolx.

den at 1pm, we headed for our bmgt unprepared for d tutorial. none of us [d gurlx] did our tutorial. juz as expected, we were drilled by d teacher. she was furious. said some nasty stuff blah blah blah. den at last her lesson end. went hm den chiong project at nitex.

fridae was d dateline for cats and iac. our iac was nt yet finished. i had to edit d iac report. saw him online den asked him to help. i din noe he act edited d whole project for me. tot he did some only. felt really bad and guilty, lyk i was using him. haix..den in d end, i din use all d stuff dat he edited. which made me feel even more guilty. act i was kinda impatient wif him coz he was taking a blurdy long time to edit for me..den i sought help frm another frenz. tot he was busy wif other tings and forgotten abt it. turn out i was wrong, he was act editing d whole report for me. felt remorseful afterwards. but den he only managed to complete everyting at abt 2. but den jas had to print d report le. cant possibly ask her to wait ritex. den i only took some of d stuff dat he edited. i'm so bad. haix.

fridae, 11th march 2005
*heave a sigh of relief* finally all of my projects are done. no more project for dis sem. had my cats and iac presentation todae. reach sch kinda late. act wanted to reach 15 mins earlier de, den i reached d sch on d dot - 9am. seem to b really late nowadaes. was really anxious abt my iac presentation. wasnt well prepared coz we only did d project lyk 2 daes b4? nevertheless, we managed to finish everyting. so proud of ourselves. lolx. i was mumbling and stammering [kinda] thruout my presentation. but hu cares, everyting is over. hehe.

we ended our iac lesson quite late, lyk 30 mins later. we head to our cats cls straight. den we practise in cats place. was nervous as usual .cant remember my script. finally our cats lesson started. my grp was d 4th grp to act out our role-play [5 grps in total] d first 3 grp's performance was alrite. tink i lyk ying liang's grp..hehe. esp d part whr she acted as an indian singer. her accent was really funny..but sounded real. hehe. was luffing thruout the role-play. after their grp, it was our turn to act. i kinda screw up..forgot my lines..but overall everyting was fine. d audience was luffing at some parts of our role-play. when wendy said, "excuse me, meeting in progress" everyone was luffing. lolx. coz d cls was making some noises mah..den she added dat. as for jasmine, haha..her acting is really awesome as always too. haha. those hu haf been in d same lms cls as her would noe dat she can act really well. lyk natural de.
at last, our lesson ended. dis was d last time we r ever gg to see our teachers and to attend these 2 clses again. was kinda relief though. no more projects and stuff.

i was hoping dat my bro will b out when i reached hm. but to my dismay, he is STILL at hm. tot he would b out le. so irritating. den i end up doing nth...act wana play rose de, but den, he haf to b at hm. grrrrrr!!!! nvm, in d end, i played rose at nitex. saw him again. partied wif him and yoshi and other peepx. den nick asked me to party wif him...den in d end, me, nick and him party together larx. den i duno press wad ting, my com went on stand-by mode. by d time i went back, server dc. den i tried logging in den dis weird looking words popup. i haf to restart my whole com again to play.

when i went back, i saw him asking other ppl to party wif him le. den i was all alone. turn out nick kana dc too. lolx. so i partied wif him in d end. hmmm...he asked for my location after a while. but den i decided to play hide-and-seek wif him [sounds lame i noe]. lolx. i asked him to come find me..so mean of me. hehe. i was juz trying to create some fun..coz i was bored stiff. in d end, he still cannot find me. i told him i was accompanying someone else...erm...tink he was angry lorx. coz he said i was using him or sth lyk dat de. haix. but i was nt lorx..okie, i admit, i was jealous when he partied wif some other gurl. so i din tell him whr i was when he asked. tot i'll teach him a lesson. hehe. but den tink everyting was okie larx...

saturdae, 12th march 2005
bored stiff. my bro was at hm d whole afternoon. couldnt surf d net. felt lyk i was suffocating...cant do wifout my internet. so i watch fushigi yuugi d whole dae..was so sad when d sukaku warriors died one by one. act i cried larx. was really touched by d show. tink most of d gurlx will cry de once dey watched it. so emotional. haix. if thr's a guy whose lyk tamahome, i'll die for him. haha..but den, doubt such guy exist in dis world. okie..mayb i haven one hu fits dat description yet..hu noes wad happens in d future though...

once i gt back hm, i chiong to play rose. hehe. beri long nv play le..of coz gan cheong larx. wan to lvl up fast fast one..at least until lvl 70 de. but now lyk 60+ niax. diaox. den dat kharrzy chiong so fast..now lvl 68 le. so fast lorx..mus b everydae chiong non-stop. did i mention dat he is d new clan master liaox? terrace left le..den leave kharrzy to manage d whole clan. heard frm terrace hu heard frm sparklz dat kharrzy is mean..hehe..as in he's tough on d clan peepx. expecting alot i guess. it's kinda expected lorx..considering dat he's d one hu always chiong in clan field de. lolx.

hmmm...met him online again. it's coincidence horx..din plan or anyting de. but den b4 we could meet, he went off. told me he'll b gone for 5 mins but den..he wasnt back after 5 mins. was kinda angry. den he msg me saying he couldnt get in. y he din try to get in..so dumb. juz now i also mah..i tried for a while b4 i could get in de. so fast gif up one. so fed-up wif him. angry too.
i ignored him when he came online..he apologised in d 'all' mode [tink u duno wad i mean]. everyone noes wad he is saying. so pai seh. den dis dude asked him to stop kp blah blah blah..i was angry larx..so naturally i ignored him lorx. but den after dat i asked him to join me and my frenz at gorge. yoshi invited someone else inside d party, den party full le. so he couldnt get in. guess wad he said..i tot he was gg to come along and wait de. to my DISMAY, he said he was gg off to play other games. grrrrrrr..so fed-up u noe. den i heck larx..he can leave by all means. i dun gif a damn.

but den tinking back, am i too petty? haix..mayb i should controll my feelings and nt get angry wif him so easily.

sundae, 13th march 2005
went to temple todae. so sianx one. weather so freaking hot. jac [my cousin, nt jac jac] was thr too. but den she zao halfwae..leave me alone. haix..den i folo my mum and aunts ard...walk and walk. bought a shirt at bugis village. 17.90 bucks niax. alot of shops werent opened yet. i heard thr was a fire here nt long ago. mayb dat's y alot of shops aint open.
reached hm at abt 5pm. watch fushigi yuugi...finished d whole ting le. it's so NICE. esp d guys..woah..so yandao...lolx. but den honestly larx..it's a really touching story. d power of lurve is so amazing..it can do wonders. hehe.

now waiting for my bro to go back to camp den i can play rose. [me typing dis in my notepad first den transfer to blog de] now is 8.37pm. hmmmm..my bro has to reach camp by 10pm. so..he shud b leaving soon. wish he could hurry. quick quick go bathe den go...lolx. but den really lorx..i hate it when he's at hm. i cant surf d net at all de. so sianx. haf to gif in to him all d time..it's nt d other wae rd one. wad logic ritex. d elder is suppose to let d younger one..but den it's nt for my case. it's d other wae rd. *prays hard* faster go larx...FASTER.

2005-03-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

haix. gt so many projects to do..act 2 only. but still... our cats is done alr..now d problem is our iac. we haven even started unless u count d surveys. now we r deciding wad topic to do...either take back my grp's wcom pro or continue wif d slimming one. headache siax. how i wish everyting will b over soon.

omg. at dis rate i'm gg..my hair is gg to bald soon. stress siax. wonder how i'm gg to cope in yr 2. i heard it's much worse den dis. -_-'''

okie..finally my grp decides to use back my wcom pro le. haix. but i duno wad to do for my part. how? how? sianx. anywae i go do my pro le. ciao!!!~

2005-03-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

i really duno wad he is tinking . one min we r toking, and d nxt we r back to dat subject again. [it's nt wad u guess tink horx] he always lyk to keep tings for me de..afraid dat i will b hurt. but does he noe dat d more he does dat d more i feel....i feel...i duno larx. so irritating. den he lyks to sae tings half-wae de. den leave me pondering. den he refuse to tell me anyting. furthermore, he lyks to assume tings...he lyks to sae, "i noe ler" wad does he mean by dat? i haf no clue de lorx.

grrr..anywae i'm chatting wif him now. he doesnt believe dat i cried becoz of him. damn angry lorx...he duno sae wad nonsense larx. sometimes can die toking to him. ccc..now he tells me he aint sure abt sth. i giving him chance to ask he dun wan. grrrrr...

argghhh..dun tok abt him le. sometimes he's so sweet..sometimes he's so....dun even noe wad he is tinking.

*juz found dat alot of peepz in our cls is getting blog. wOOt!!~ is dat great or wad? now mus convince more ppl to blog...ivy, jolin...

2005-03-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

great. i cant believe i act said dat. i cant believe i admit dat i lyk him. argghhhh..nv once in my entire life did i admit to a guy dat i lyk him. haha. wonder wad make me said dat to him. is it becoz i was afraid he will ignore me? act i tot he was coz he suddenly went offline in msn, den i tot he really angry le. den i had no choice but to tell him d truth or else i may forget abt toking to him again. okie...i dun even noe wad i'm blabbling abt. lolx. anyhow he msg me and said he gt dc (seriously). haha..i was lyk shit. i alr msg him liaox. -_-'''

den he replied me saying he was shocked dat i lyk him. grr...guys can b so dumb at times. [haha..i noe i said dis lyk a thousand times, but it's d truth.] he dun seem to get any hints at all..somemore he said i mus i someone else in mind and dat person is definitely nt him. i wana walloped [lolx. lyk so rough horx.] him leh. cant he tell dat i lyk him. if i dun care abt him, firstly, i wouldnt b angry at him. secondly, i wouldnt even bother to ask him for help. and thirdly....thirdly...i cant tink of anyting now. wah..i really duno how to descibe leh. i noe d gurlx noes exactly how i feel, but guys...haix..doubt u noe it!

juz now he msg me and reminded me abt our little bet. haha. we made a bet last time. he saes dat i will find a bf within dis 2 mths [feb-april]. but i told him dat he's gg to lose for sure. but den he seem to make a mistake, he tot our bet was dat i will lyk a guy after d 2 mths. lolx. hhahah..anyhow i told him b4 dat he is gg to lose d bet for sure.

2005-03-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

hehe..i seem to b blogging frequently horx. hahha..coz everyone seems so interested in my luv affair [ehx..sound so...hahha] anywae todae is another boring dae..and hot as usual but kinda windy larx. my bro's door suddenly bang..scare me only.

remember i msg him ytd den he din reply..was quite fed-up larx. but decided to gif him a chance to explain lorx. he said he only saw d msg in d morning. i was lyk wad d heck..nvm, i'm d forgiving kind so i juz let it pass. but den juz now i msg him again..d same ting happen. i even said dat if he din reply me i'm nt gg to tok to him again. ha..me sound so childish ritex. but den i was really fed-up wif him lorx.

juz now he msg me back saying his hp gt problem, den he charging his hp..so din c my msg. do u tink i shud believe him? i really duno. i'm so confused now. tell me wad to do.

2005-03-06T12:47:00.000+08:00

so many tings haf been happening recently wif him and stuff. haha..almost driving me nuts. went thru quite a rough patch wif him. haha..we aint exactly a couple yet. haha. still frenz niax. close frenz mayb? nt too sure either. juz noe dat i look forward to seeing him online everydae. kinda disappointed if he aint ard. is dat lurve or wad? lolx. no larx..so serious. wad lurve. lyk mayb. hehe. wonder how he looks lyk. haha. so damn curious. hopefully he's alright looking lorx..ahha..frm his testi given by his cousin, he or she claims dat he is yandao leh. hahah.

anywae juz found out dat he is a christian. he in church now lorx.haha. no wonder he woke up so early. i was tinking so weird. guys hardly wake up so early de..furthermore he slept so late last nitex. now doing queries alone..haix..but at least i noe how to do abit le. so proud of myself. haha..i figure out how to do de leh. shud b sth dat i can b proud of ritex. den my kor horx..so bad de. he act went and take MC so he do nt haf to go back to camp todae. wah..eat snake lorx. den i cant surf d net..cant do project. wad d heck. i noe rena nids d tings in a hurry but how to when i cant even use d net. -_-''' juz now in d morning i play rose for a while. hehe..all of us were partying togther [d all dun refer to any of d guys larx..it's my clan mates] den half wae haf to go le coz my kor came back + i haven had my breakfast yet.

btw my desktop de wallpaper is exactly d same as my blog. hehe. d gurl is so chio. so sianx now. wif all d project datelines and exams coming, i'm gg crazy. haha. dun sound lyk it though. but act my schedule beri tight lorx. alot of tings to do esp dis wk. gt 3 projects to b submitted den tml gt bca quiz and tues gt wcom exam. wah..so many tings to b done. haven study for wcom yet. wonder how i'm gg to do well. dun even noe d format of anyting ting. damn!

all d above dat i wrote was act written in d morning de. coz boring mah..nth to do so rite inside d note pad den transfer here. todae de blog gt nth de. such a boring dae..nth happen..hot weather...argghhh..cant stand.

2005-03-05T16:20:00.000+08:00

*yawns* so freaking tired. hehe. haf been slping late lately. so sianx. anywae todae's lesson is freaking boring and a total waste of my time. i went thr juz to chat wif my gurlfrenz. haha..is dat lame or wad. 2 hrs back and fro juz to chat wif my gurlfrenz. *shakes head* but we did tok abt plently of tangx..frm anime to relationships. haha..but i had a gd time though.

went back hm after sch den played rose. hehe. really addicted to it horx. but cannot blame larx..too stress le. gt so many tangx to do. so play game to de-stress. lolx. i was partying wif kharrzy, nick and yoshi. amazingly my xp starts to rise really fast..haha..all thx to them. dey were chionging lyk mad esp kharrzy. haha..d usual. he soldier mah..den everytime chiong de. den i....met him again larx.

if u read my blog ytd, u shud noe wad happen. anywae he was rattling non-stop [haha..sound so bad]. hmmm..rather he was trying to explain to me d whole nitex..den...i forgive lorx. u mus b tinking i so fast gif in de horx..but he was..i really duno wad to sae. anywae enuff abt ytd's issue, he tinks i'm still mad at him. ha. he claim dat i wasnt my usual self when we were chatting..frm d wae i ans his qn and stuff. lyk i wasnt interested lyk dat. duno him larx. in act fact, i was partying wif my frenz and had to run here and thr to heal them. dat's y i din really ans his qns..juz gave brief ans. arghh..dun care him larx.

but i doubt dat tingx r gg to go back to d same as it use to..haix. juz now i msg him and ask him to pei me play rose, den he nv reply. wad d heck! gif him chance he dun wan. dun blame me for being hard on him nxt time. guys r really dumb at times. lyk jasmine mentioned todae, dey dun seem to get d hints we gif to em. so toot!! mus we spell out everyting. -_-''' cant dey b more sensitive. i wait for lyk half an hr for him to reply but he din, den i heck le. went offline and do some blogging. okie larx..dun tink too much liaox. go slp le. ciao!!!~

2005-03-04T15:18:00.000+08:00

hey. back to blogging again. ha. i really nid to rite out my tots now. i'm lyk so freaking devastated but i duno y. i cant believe i'm crying becoz of him again. i told myself nt to b weak again. nt to cry becoz of him, but i did it again even though i duno y. mayb coz i care for him wae too much..and wad he told me really hurt me alot. so much for me pretending i dun gif a damn abt him..ha. in act fact i care for him alot. much more den i tot. u noe i yearn to see him online everydae...it's lyk, i'm so dependent on him now. now dat i learnt abt dat, i juz broke down. i'm so damn weak. wadeva happens to d Joan dat does nt rely on any guys. ha..it's all gone.

he's still toking to b in msn but i aint answering. haix. i really duno wad to do now. act i wana to forget abt him long long time ago le..but den he haf to b so nice to me. i duno whether i shud reply him nt. tell me wad to do plz...

2005-03-04T11:32:00.000+08:00

Juz changed my blogskins. nice ornt? haha..tot it looks cool. simple yet NICE. haha. duno how to describe larx. tink sth wrong wif d ending part. hmm..later i go edit.

todae went to sch early to do project. met jasmine, wendy and rena for cats project at 10.30. turn out we had to book d project rm b4 hand le. last time nt lyk dis de, but i tink it's nt a bad idea either as we do not haf to wait lyk idiotx for d project rm. now we juz book d rm and head straight for it. anyhow we were practically laughing thru d whole meeting. hahha. jasmine was damn funny. cracking us up wif her imitation of a lady boss. lolx. she really has talent for it. if u ask me to act it out, i'll b lyk 'No Way'. i cant do dat. mayb i can only rite scriptx. hehe. den nth much happen le. after dat paul join us to discuss our iac. gt so many projectx to hand it horx. wah..really wana faint le. keke.

oh ya..maggie was telling me dat she enjoys reading my blog as i share alot of inside info abt my privacy life wif i nv tell anyone..lyk him. hahah. tink now alot of ppl [those dat read my blog de] noe abt my...ahem...privacy life. haha. act also nth much de larx..i only rite down how i tink and feel lorx. coz some tings r hard to sae so i lyk to rite out my tots. easily mah..

den last nitex i nv blog horx..too busy larx..hehe..wif projects lorx. all d projects fault. so many of em..so more is nt those kinda easy one leh. our project require us to tink abt alot of tings. argh..dun wish to go into much detail. btw isk said our tutor told him dat 3 person in our cls flunk d poa test. hopefully i'm nt one of em *prays hard*

haix..time really flies horx. tml fridae le. den a few more wks is our end-of-yr exam liaox. dis sem really fast lorx. lyk suddenly we juz started sch den now alr wan to end le.

hmmm...ytd i was practically toking to him d whole dae. hehe. he in sch den i at hm. den he helped me out wif my project. lolx. he offered to help de..nt i using him lorx. haha. den basically we crap as usual..den we haf to tok abt DAT topic again. haix..always will de. duno y leh..we tok and tok den d subject will go to dat. diaox. but frm ytd, i can tell dat he care for me alot. hmmm..he shouldnt b faking it ritex. i really duno. tink he genuinely cares abt me. den he keeps helping me..make me so dependent on him. argghh..i dun wan to depend on him so much. but den.. everyting was okie until i asked him to ans my qn [i asked him sth dat morning]...act i forgot de. den he recalled wad it was. den he started toking in circle...i dun understand wad he meant lorx. den finally i persuaded him to juz sae wad he wans to sae. i hate it when he toks in circles coz i dun understand at all. so toot ritex. haha. but cannot blame larx.

frm his ans i realise dat he still dun understand how i feel. but den he's partly ritex too..i cant sae he's totally wrong but den...aiya..duno larx. he's making me all confuse again. sometimes he can b really paranoid de lorx..keep saying dat i'm hanging out wif my bf..which of coz doesnt exist at all. i mean i haf no bf lorx..den he always sae i mus b hanging out wif 'him' blah blah blah. siao one larx..sometimes he's so annoying..keep teasing me. but den sometime he's really sweet towards me. is dat how guys behave towards gurlx? i really haf no idea.

all these talks abt him is making me tired..tink i better continue wif d script of my cats project. nid to send d gurlx d script soon. ciao!!!~

2005-03-02T11:53:00.000+08:00

Juz gt back frm sch. tot i might blog. hehe. act we went off half-wae thru d lecture de. d lecturer was blabbing rubbish since d beginning..all those crap abt himself blah blah blah. as if we r interested in his private life. *rolls eye*

feeling tired as usual [when am i nt tired]. now doing poa quiz and blogging at d same time. hehe. heard dat d quiz can b done several times until u get full marks. i mean if dat's d case, wad is d purpose of doing it. BUT i tink it's great too, coz if i fail d quiz i can repeat until i get full marks =]. awesome ritex. haha.

nth much happen todae though. i gt back my maec test paper le. i was disappointed wif my results which was expected. i alr knew dat i would nt fare too well for dis le. surprisely, kendrick gt d highest in cls, followed by paul. everyone was juz shocked dat paul gt d 2nd highest.

now playing rose. so sianx. no one online de. only stfatt. but i nv find him larx. too tired le. cannot concentrate on playing now. haha..juz kill d d crawfi king wif alot of ppl ksing. hehe. but at least i gt d blue crystal. lolx.

ytd nitex, i was tinking abt star's qn. haix. i was still unable to gif him a ans. although he claim dat he knew it, i noe he is really disappointed in me. act i wanted to ask him a few qns too, but come to tink of it now. i duno whether i shud ask nt. argghh..dun care le. zou yi bu kan yi bu lorx.

2005-03-01T15:58:00.000+08:00

So here i am, back to blogging. feeling so tired now. after d test and all and HIM. haix..d test was suppose to b chicken-feet. but i had to make some stupid mistake which cost me 3 marks alr. i said alr coz i duno whether i made anymore silly mistakes. i really wan to bang my head against d wall leh. so disappointed in myself.

Den thr's him..he's driving me crazy. when he question me..i was totally lost for words. i really had no idea how to ans him. i felt really bad dat i kinda lie to him. but wad can i sae. dat i act haf feelings for him. den he keeps asking me to jio dis guy. duno wad d heck he tinking either. haix..still duno how to ans him. anywae he said he gt d ans le. diaox. i duno wad he tinking larx. shud i tell him d truth? abt everyting or keep mum abt it? all dis is giving me a headache. juz a few daes ago, i vow nt to tok to him again..at least nt haf anyting to do wif him. den i practically melt when he spoke to me again. is dis wad i tink it is?

d sweeter u r to me, i more guilty i feel. lyk i'm nt able to return ur feelings. ha. sounds all...WEIRD!!! gee..realise dat i lyk rite alot of tings here which r only meant for myself niax. arghh..heck le. now toking to my gurlfrenz - esther, ivy, maggie and wendy. still deciding whether we shud do d presentation for maec tml. doubt we r doing le. it's almost 12am. how r we able to produce a gd ppt in such a short time. besides we know nth abt d topic. dun care le.

my eyes r almost closing now. haha. it's amazing i can tahan so long. lolx. my sec sch frenz are probably gg to b surprise, dey mus b tinking - Joan, d guai kia, everydae slp so early de is awake at dis hr??? lolx. ppl change u noe. besides clses end late sometimes den nid to chiong project...so sometimes nid to stay up and do projects lorx.

so..esther is still asking d rest of us whether we r doing d ppt nt. haha. my mind is definitely nt on dat now. waiting for my dad to finish watching his tape - i taped pi li huo for him, den probably i'll slp le. okie le..show end liaox. me go zzz le. so freaking tired. nitex!!~

2005-03-01T06:05:00.000+08:00

Okie..let's nt go into much details abt all dat stuff - first time writing blah blah blah. Now in d sch library slacking..act suppose to study for d maec test later on de. den all of us decide [act me and mag] to create a blog for ourselves. haha.lame ritex. but life is so boring now..study study non-stop. no life.

So i finally tok to him ytd. clarify some stuff wif him too. but thr r still alot of tings i wan to noe. haix...nvm. at least i noe he aint angry at me. we played rose together ytd although he keep getting dc. tink his internet connection sth wrong bah.

den i tok to him in d morning while i was having lessons...den he lyk wan to tell me sth but dun wana sae to him.. wad d heck! haha..den he said he will tell me tonitex..he scare other ppl look at our conversation. lol. he's making me curious. hmmm...really wan to noe how he looks lyk. hehe..frm his testi in friendster, his cousin sae he yandao wor. hahah. when i question him, he deny. i mean hu will sae he yandao one.

Kkz le..tink i better go study my maec. if nt later i flunk my test. faint ar. but none of my gurlfrenz seem to b studying except for jac and jie ying. wad can u expect, d guai kias in our cls. hehe.